"I'm painted crimson and blue, she was a ruthless artist."

I feel strange being in a new society. I'm used to the older age of victoria, not the younger one where i spend most of my hours now. I've never felt so commited to these last few days but i have a feeling that soner or later that action is going to desintegrate.
I feel very....new, like i'm starting a new chaper without nessisarily flipping over onto a new page. There are some aspects that are the same and that will never change. Then there are the new applications that are new or growing more into my area of interest.
I feel very young, not in the physical aspect but in the mental. I can't decide if i am uneducated compared to those around me or if i am up to par. Sometimes i think i find my answer but there are always those with far more superiority than me. Oviously.
I guess thats always been the deal with education though. You are always categorized into one of two possible categories: smart or well, stupid. There isn't really an inbetween. More or less because those who do decide what you stand under are either or themselves.
Things are falling into place again, and for that i am truly grateful for. My days have schedules. At the beginning of the summer i dispized having my days planned out for me, i hated predictability, and now i can't continue my day without a consistent schedule without getting lost.
My thoughts flow through channels without getting stuck or blocked, i take my steps with more confidence and i feel that i am finally going somewhere, something i havn't really experienced before. That what i am experiencing is my own life without guidence from the people i have always relied on. This is what i have been waiting for, i'm growing up.

"You just get mad, like the adults you pitied. You must be growing up."