Anyway, as i was walking by today i noticed that the park had been remodeled which kind of got me thinking about other things.
I've always been uncomfortable with the future because of it. Meeting new people, people i love meeting new people, being dropped in the middle of new situations...I'm not as good as consoling as i used to be either. I feel like i'm loosing too many friends and making too many at the same time. I almost feel like i'm unbalanced. Its a terrible feeling. I also found out that i have terrible issues with trust. I didn't think that it was too much of an issue since i havn't really ever put complete trust in anyone just for fear that i will get hurt. After a long talk i decided that it is better to have complete trust in someone and to NOT worry and have fun as upposed to not trusting and worrying all the time.
the problem is i don't know HOW to do it. Its so weird. I swear to god i have some genetic problem from my grandma that was passed down to me so that i constantly worry all the time. It doesn't even matter what it is about, it just kind of happens i guess. Oh well.
do you know what's a good cure? irn bru. It solves everything, including world hunger.
ReplyDeleteOn a more serio note (WHAT??!! ADDY SERIOUS??) the friends you continue to be friends with, even though there's tons of people coming and going, those are the ones that count.. And so what if you can't counsil? sometimes people just needs a person to talk to and to cry with. You don't always have the right answers (that's only me!) but thats life. As for trusting someone.... Humans (among other things) are... well for a lack of a better term, human. They will let you down and they will break your trust and they will hurt you. they can't help it (this is why it's better to be an alien). But it reflects on what an awesome, cool human you are if you can forgive them. I find (this is the alien addy mind you) that a reason it's hard to trust someone is because you don't forgive them.. You don't want to get hurt again, and you don't trust them to be the better ape speices and not pull something stupid again. It's kinda like when you first jump off the deep end.... you want to, you can see all your pals doin it and having a great time swimming back and forth, but you're afraid of the deep water, you might drown, you might be attacked by sharks. The more you think of the bad things, the more afraid you get, you start to back down. It's when you don't think about it, and just jump in, that you see how fun it is. Of course, there might be the odd time where you do a belly flop and it hurts like hell and you don't want to dive again... but you're able to push the fear back down. Everytime you jump, of course there'll be that fear, but the more you do it, the less it bothers you.
Trust is a two way street mind you.. the person you want to trust has to show they deserve your trust. After that, the ball's in your court.
that's addy's rant for the day! EHHHH!
You are so cute and i love you XD
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