I've been wondering what the end of the world will actually look like. The only reference or clues that we have had are from the bible, but is there REALLY going to be a red sun? Maybe it is just another pariable, a story instead of a prophecy, or just one that is supposed to mean something else becuase i dont know the word for that. I wonder a lot about where we go when we die, why heaven is just not there...until we go there. Could it be somewhere up in the universe and we will just never have the technology to ever see it, or does it just...happen to appear? Another thing, forever is a long time. When people say "we will live in heaven forever"...it makes my brain hurt, becuase i actually THINK about forever. When i was little my mom used to always say that forever is just a circle, it doesnt have an end, but i like to think everyting has an end. So when i try to think about concepts such as this my head almost goes into overdrive and shuts itself off. Its such a weird feeling, a scary one.
Sitting at home makes me think, hard. And its almost foreign to me.
I often wonder what i could do for long periods of time that i would actually be confortable and content doing for long periods of time. Its a challenge because i cant stay doing one thing for long periods of time without getting bored quickly, which explains why i've quit every job i've had. People watching would be something i could do forever because everyones different.
I'm too tired these days. Its not even sleep deprivation. I sleep for longer then i should. Its like i have a battery but the battery is on the verge of dead and i have to replace it. But i dont have a battery...so it might be interesting to see what happens when i get to weak to put up with anything.
This is a lesson in procrastination...
Does procrastination have benifits without strings attached for later and how can it last? How long can you procrastinate something before it turns into something else? And if it turns into something else what IS that something else. Laziness? or is procrastination considered lazy.
Am i ever going to get anything right? I'm curious....
What is my purpouse here exactly and how long do i have to wait it out here to find that out.
Are rules put in place just to break them? or do we break things to produce laws that force us into tighter rule?
Why do car rides make you think about things you never thought of before? Is it the light that flashes by in the dark or the scenery that whips past your eyes.
This is what goes through my head, this is what i'm scared of, and this is what i wonder. Paper doesn't seem to work for some reason i am shy to point pencil to paper but i am at home on a keyboard and public site? I confuse myself. I think there are some people out there that know me better then i know myself. I wish i could meet more of them and they could stay around me to explain whats goin on in my head. But i guess its a curious battle between mind and body.
Die young and save yourself. Its almost where my head is but i dont want to believe that.
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The fear of being bored is humane. A person, in physical sense, cannot avoid certain emotions. Jealousy, Sorrow, Guilt, etc. But the idea is, when you die, you're stripped from your humanity. I don't think that we think when we die, nor do we really feel those emotions that keep us human. If you sit in silence, and were just to listen to your heartbeat, or your chest swell... it's that comforting feeling that I think is left. You retain a piece of the you that "exists" without actually being yourself.
ReplyDeleteIt makes me like reincarnation. Maybe you're just one body away from something more.