Screaming infedeleties

So this is my first post in a year and a half and i'm thinking this will probably be more conveniant then writing in a journal. So lately i've been thinking about whats going to happen to me when i get older. This is really scetchy for me because for some reason whenever i think of the future i flinch and try to push it out of my head, i dont really know why that is but i do. I also found out that i have a few conciouses (or voices but that makes me sound crazy) that talk to me somewhere behind that thick skull of mine. I didn't notice them until i went up isleand to parksville where i felt forced to spend my weekend. Thats when i noticed there was someone other than what i am talking to me. It started when i was getting a massage weirdly enough because thats when your supposed to be most relaxed. But it was almost an entertaining uplifting voice, so i am assuming that is the positive side of me. There are two more of these that i know of. One is the one that inputs on my decisions, mostly on the con's side of things and the one that speaks the most. The last one is the paranoia, the one that only shows up when my head is spinning out of control. i've only experienced this voice once, its like its screaming. Not very happy. I do wonder where they run off to when i am content. However, being happy without something being on my mind is a rare occurance. However the happy voice is with me now, i'm sure the others are sleeping because it is fairly late at night. Anyway, i think i need to come up with a name for the happy voice because at the moment it seems it is the most prominent.
Anyway. Its late and my ears are ringing. Maybe next time i post i will post my poetry from my more negative side. Its good poetry, or so i think anyway.